PDA
by redrupee
Summary: With one thoughtless brush of his lips against her cheek, their relationship was out in the open. Now Soul Eater and Maka Albarn have to deal with their most daunting challenge yet - the advice of their friends. Soul/Maka.
1. The Train Ride Begins

AN: ... Another series.

~dodges bricks~

This one is going to be light-hearted and cute by contrast to everything else I write, and because Soul Eater (anime and manga) is obviously not done at the time of my starting this, I'm going to make it as time-neutral as possible. I'll probably fail, but such is life.

Anyway, Soul and Maka are my OTP forever, and I realized I've done nothing to celebrate this, so here we are. It's T+ for the obvious reason of teenagers in a relationship. SHIELD YOUR EYES, KIDDIES.

(PDA stands for Public Display of Affection, if you didn't know. That's... kind of important.)

* * *

Soul Eater Evans was content to liken the past few weeks to the mechanized, smoke-spewing monstrosities of public transit, the chugging metal beasts with tracks that stood out against the countryside like the scar on his chest. Most people called them trains - he called them crap. But that was beside the point, because despite his best efforts, there was no better simile to be found for his current situation. (He didn't have the book smarts it took to whip something more creative up, anyway, so he settled for the trains.)

In the beginning, there were regular days, with only the vaguest of "leaving the station" vibes to be detected; he remembered squinting at his meister every so often, wondering if there was something _different_, but that was the extent of the change. It was, as loosely as the term applied to their hectic lives, relatively normal. Yes, the initial change had started out simply enough, as most huge catastrophes did - it was like how it went in the movies, where the ship is bobbing up and down in the ocean, and someone says _the sky is lookin' a little grey here, Cap'n_, and then BAM!, one scene change later they're all dead from a tidal wave, and the camera pans out to reveal all the splintered ship parts, and audience left wondering _wait, what_? (Another simile; maybe Soul was smarter than he thought.)

Time did its job and rolled on, and the train that had become their lives gradually sped up. Before Soul knew it, they were at a constant speed; it was like finally looking out the window and seeing the scenery go by in a blur. He could remember how he'd got his glimpse out of the window, because he and Maka had been arguing, and suddenly they were making out. _Just like that_. It was kind of amazing in its own terrible, irreversible, eye-opening, and completely unromantic way. Then he tripped over the coffee table, and the trance was broken just as fast as it had started. After five minutes of beating him with a rolled-up magazine and calling him a pervert and a sexual deviant, Maka had finally calmed herself down, and they sat on the couch and talked about it.

That was seriously how they decided on starting an actual intimate relationship. Tension rose past the breaking point, the pot boiled over, the tea pot whistled, et cetera. It was minimally mushy, and minimally romantic, and minimally cute, and they had no plan at all - they just charged right into it. As Soul had always said of them, it was, in simple terms, not cool, but it was how they were.

With a relationship came responsibility. Soul knew that - he wasn't stupid. Unfortunately, Maka knew that too, being the farthest thing from stupid he'd ever seen, and she simply _had_ to make a big deal out of it. She'd let it slide without mention for a little while, but one day (without any warning at all!) she took him by the arm during dinner, her brows clouded like a thunderhead. She gave him a firm shake and told him that they _had _to decide what to do right away, because this was a very delicate procedure and it was not to be taken lightly. They needed to think about this very carefully, she insisted, and decide on something that would benefit everyone involved.

Since when had there been an "everyone?" Soul had stirred his noodles and told her matter-of-factly that no one else was _involved_ but them. After recovering from the book spine she'd so kindly wedged into his frontal lobe, he decided to change his tune.

In all seriousness, they had their friends to worry about, she said, putting her hand over his with a frown. The look in her eyes made him expect bad news, like _Soul, we need to talk _- the legendary break-up starter - or _Soul, your brother called, your grandmother just died_. If this was going to remain on the down-low, she declared, they needed to be very careful, because she _trusted_ them, she really did, it was just their personalities that made her uneasy. They had to weigh the pros and the cons of telling each of them about their little "dating experiment" before deciding on a plan of action once and for all.

First, they had Black Star. He was one of their oldest friends at Shibusen, and usually age was equated with trust, Maka pointed out. Soul took that opportunity to tell Maka that he wouldn't trust Black Star with anything - _ever_ - and not only did she agree, but she promptly questioned her sanity for even _considering _him.

And there was Tsubaki, Maka's best friend and most trusted advisor. Maka boldly declared to Soul that if they were to choose just one person to tell, it would be Tsubaki - if she could trust her with her life, she could trust her with a secret. Soul clicked his tongue at Maka reproachfully, shaking his head and declining to agree. He reminded her that Tsubaki and Black Star were partners and, as his partner, she would feel terribly guilty keeping secrets from him. Black Star could read her like an open book, he continued - if she so much as _hinted_ that she knew something about us, through words or body language, Black Star would catch on and beg her to tell him. And she _would_ tell him, because that's who she was; sweet, harmless Tsubaki, who couldn't turn a blind eye to her partner's begging. Maka begrudgingly admitted that he was right - Tsubaki was out, at least for now.

They had Liz and Patty to consider, too. Soul and Maka found themselves laughing hysterically the moment the suggestion was thrown onto the table, and after they composed themselves, they decided to avoid thinking about them all-together. It would be a cold day in Hell when those two developed the ability to keep a secret.

The last person they thought to consider was Death the Kid. He was able to keep secrets better than anyone else, and he probably wouldn't care as much as the rest, which would save them a good deal of embarrassment. If they were to tell someone, he seemed like the most likely candidate - at least, he seemed decent on the surface. This time Maka was the one to realize the downside; he had the same flaw as Tsubaki, with different circumstances. If Liz and Patty asked, he had absolutely no reason _not_ to tell them. He always seemed so indifferent towards them and their personal lives; what was his motivation to stay quiet?

Their little talk was more or less a complete waste of time. Not only was Soul's dinner now ice cold, but they had reached the decision he'd wanted and suggested from the start: They shouldn't tell their friends, because it was none of their business, anyway. It was their own little secret, and it would remain a secret until they decided otherwise - and as Soul put his meal in the microwave, he found himself hoping that their charade would be kept quiet for a good, long time.

Hopefully, the driver of this crappy train wouldn't have a heart attack and die, because the last thing they needed was for this situation to get out of control.


	2. Derailed

AN: Two chapters in one update. I want to get this going ASAP. :D

Here's where it gets interesting...

* * *

Soul finally felt that their crappy train was slowing to a stop, or at least maintaining a safer speed, to his immense relief. It almost made him want to celebrate, and for once he was actually _grateful_ that he had no one to celebrate with; it had been several weeks since their decision was made, and no one had found out yet. It was _beautiful._ Blair was the only person that knew of his involvement with Maka (and it was more or less inevitable, because she was their cat, after all), and he'd threatened to eat her remaining eight souls if she squealed, so she'd sworn herself to secrecy. In short, things were looking up; they were getting comfortable with leading a "double life" now - Maka joked that she felt like a secret agent when they argued in public, then went home and cuddled up on the couch - and they'd managed to avoid flaring any suspicions at all, gliding under the radar like it was nothing. Now it was just a matter of avoiding instances in which they could let something slip, at least until they figured out how they would break the news... It seemed easy enough.

But nothing is ever easy, not in this life or any other.

Perhaps they had it coming; perhaps they never had the right to hide something so important from their friends in the first place. In any event, karma struck at them hard, and the tiniest of slip-ups led to the immediate demise of their entire scheme. In the smallest of gestures, the littlest public display of affection in the history of "outed" relationships, the train derailed.

It was an ordinary school day (as ordinary as Shibusen could be, at least), and as Professor Stein subjected them to yet another unrelated dissection, Soul took to observing his classmates. Today Liz and Patty were seated behind him; Patty was drawing in her notebook (he couldn't see what she was taking down, but he had a pretty good idea), and Liz sat to her left, scraping at her nails with a file. Kid sat to Liz's right because a student they didn't know had planted his self beside Patty, and at a glance, Soul thought that he was one of the few watching the Professor. After examining him closer, he saw that the unfortunate obsessive's eyes were fixed slightly above the Professor's head, right on a silly motivational poster Miss Marie had put up. It was tilted to the right in a slight, almost unperceivable manner, and beads of sweat were beginning to form on Kid's brow out of concentration and anxiety.

Black Star and Tsubaki sat in the row beneath Soul. It appeared that Tsubaki was trying to explain something in the text book to her meister, and somehow she was retaining her patience, even though the tapping of her finger against a select paragraph was being completely ignored. Black Star was taking interest in just about everything but his weapon and the day's lesson; he looked at the other students and out the window, under the desks and up at the ceiling, grinning like their very _being here_ was some huge joke. Soul thought he heard the ghost of the words "please listen" concealed within one of Tsubaki's deep sighs, but the shape-shifting blade's desperate plea fell on utterly deaf ears, and he almost felt bad for her. Almost - it wasn't like she _had _to stick with that raging spazz.

Battling his mounting disinterest, Soul leaned back in his seat and swept his eyes over the class in its entirety. Nearly everyone had been doing something that catered solely to his or her self, secretly texting with their cell phones and diddling with handheld gaming systems under their desks or reading hidden books, and in time they tired of that, as well. Many of his classmates had begun to join him in looking around, perhaps wondering if anyone else was considering suicide rather than witnessing another helpless animal meet its death by Stein's hands.

Soul folded his arms behind his head and glanced to his right. As always, Maka was sitting next to him - and, as always, she was watching the Professor diligently, her pen moving across the paper at absurd speeds. She was grimacing lightly at the carnage she felt she had to watch, and although the color had drained from her cheeks, she was determined to take as many notes as possible, lest their teacher display his cruel nature even _more_ obviously by issuing a pop quiz on the innards of a seagull. Soul smirked as he watched her, knowing that aside from Ox, she was probably the only one in the room actually dedicating herself to the work Stein had presented - it was in her nature, and it was adorable. God, she was such a loser.

"Having fun?" He muttered to her, exposing his sharp teeth in a grin. Maka hushed him.

"The Professor will hear you," she scolded, giving him a sideways look. He pouted fiercely; it annoyed him that she hadn't even stopped taking notes to talk to him.

"Sorry," he apologized without meaning it. And, affectionately, boldly, thoughtlessly, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

And in that moment, everyone in the room seemed to stop.

Soul felt the hair on the back of his neck raise as what felt like thousands of greedy little eyes feasted on him. He sat back into his chair and risked a glance around, leaving Maka completely frozen (at least she'd stopped writing, a distant part of his mind thought), her pen clutched so tightly that her fingertips had gone red. More than half the class was looking at them; the other half were being alerted by their peers and were now beginning to glance over, as well. Above all the undesired feedback, he felt Kid and his twin pistols leaning forward to watch them accusingly, and he saw Black Star and Tsubaki in plain sight, leaning back to stare open-mouthed.

From the front of the classroom, Professor Stein paused. His sunken, listless eyes stared up at the weapon and meister pair through glasses smeared with blood.

"Oh, my apologies," he said, absently wiping his scalpel on a scrap of stitched cloth. "I didn't know I was interrupting you two. Please, carry on."

Ripples of laughter disturbed the pool of students. As Patty began to sing behind them, _Soul and Maka sittin' in a tree_, and Tsubaki let out a half-repressed squeak of discontent, and a part of Maka was surely shriveling up and dying on the spot, Soul could've sworn he heard the scream of the turning wheels as their train violently derailed.


	3. Hide 'n' Go Seek

AN: I'm going to take daylight savings time on a date, show it a good time, ask for its number, and _never call it back_.

I'm trying to make this as unpredictable as possible. Enjoy my utter disjointedness.

* * *

The remainder of the class was completely unbearable, but Soul had expected that much, and he had no one to blame but himself. Even as the Professor continued his lesson, the scythe knew that his fellow students were focused solely on him and his meister, and anonymous whispers hissed and whirled around them like deadly gas leaks. As a school teaching shape-shifting teenagers and sin-purging weapon-wielders how to properly kill something, Shibusen rarely had true-to-life, honest-to-God _gossip_; usually the extent of the anecdotes were based on a kid dying on a mission, or a weapon going missing, or someone relatively famous "going Kishin, the weak-minded jerk." In sharp contrast to their usual lifestyle, Soul had just provided a bunch of normalcy-starved teenagers one of the best bases for a good, social-life-wrecking rumor cliché via what he could rationally assume to be his own idiocy: Extra, extra, read all about it, massive nerd and scythe meister Maka Albarn is involved with her cool-guy weapon Soul Eater, and, oh yeah, they _live together_. Make sure to tell her father, who is conveniently just a mirror-call away.

Soul figured things were irrevocably bad when Maka's pen abruptly snapped within her grip.

The distinct clanging pattern of the school bell was the most glorious sound Soul had heard all day, and for a moment he felt he could sprout wings and glide right out of the room. Of course, that would be impossible (and not very cool), and it was clear, at least to him, that they had to _run _before anyone had the chance to follow. He barely allowed "Class dismissed" to escape Stein's lips before he seized Maka by the wrist and leapt up onto the desks, absolutely _determined _to escape the class without incident - and that included avoiding an exchange with his friends, who were already rising to their feet. He dragged her across the tables as she scrambled to gather up her things, muttering hasty apologies to the owners of hands and paperwork he stepped on in the process, and dropped down into the aisle of steps between the rows. They were _so close _to the door...

"Yo, Soul, hold up!" Black Star demanded, putting a foot up on the desks with the intent of following him. Tsubaki laid her hand over his shoulder to hold him back, frowning thoughtfully, and Soul didn't even think about slowing down for them.

"Where do you two think you're going?" Liz hollered after the fleeing couple. She leaned over the seats they had been sitting in moments before so that she could get a better look at them, pointing an accusatory finger. "You two got a Hell of a lotta explaining to do!"

As they emerged into the hallway, Soul heard Liz lose her balance and fall into the emptied chairs before her, and he felt a little bit better about the massive wreck this had become.

* * *

"Are you stupid? What the Hell were you thinking, Soul?" Maka snarled, digging her nails into his palms. It was such a simple attack, but she'd somehow managed to channel all her murderous intent through her stubby little nails, and it sent hot wires of pain up and down his arm. (Either that, or she'd aimed for a nerve. He wouldn't put it past her.)

The fuzzy feeling he'd gotten from hearing Liz wipe out was only a fond memory now.

"I wasn't," he growled, trying to hide his shame under a mask of indignation. "I just _wasn't_. Okay? I'm sorry. I'm _really _sorry. God..." _So not cool_, he added in his mind, his guilt and fury boiling so vibrantly on his cheeks that he expected the skin to burn right off.

Maka puffed her own cheeks out, simmering in her momentary silence. Soul knew that a small part of her wanted to say it was alright, and her larger portion wanted to tear him a new one and finger-paint with the blood.

"Well, what are we going to do, huh?" She demanded breathlessly as they raced past the cafeteria hand-in-hand. A few nameless faces turned away from clearing their garbage to look at them, doubtlessly wondering who the Hell was chasing them in order to drive them away from their origins so quickly. "All of our friends are looking for us. _God_, I knew we should've told them!"

"We need to hide somewhere for now," Soul said, pausing at an intersection of the hallways. He pressed himself against the wall after spotting a spike of blue hair within the student traffic, swearing under his breath. "Somewhere no one will think to look for us," he panted, more to himself than to his meister. He hastily ducked into the flow of students once the silent (for once) assassin passed them by, traveling towards the school's entrance with Maka beside him. "Act natural," he muttered to her, and she looked nervously around at their company before settling into a weary walking pace, catching her breath. The main entrance reared before them after a few moments of travel, and Soul could nearly taste the freedom - unfortunately, Maka let out a sharp gasp that caused Soul to jump; she seized his arm shortly thereafter, pointing towards the trickle of students coming from the other hallway.

"_Hurry_," she hissed to Soul through clenched teeth. "I see Liz and Patty coming..."

A pair of cowboy hats bobbed up and down within the swarm of strangers, their owners concealed but well-known to the fleeing duo. Soul nodded to her wordlessly and, suddenly inspired, pushed his way ahead of the crowd, much to the irritation of his peers. Maka saw the taller of the two sisters stand on the tips of her toes with a look of alarm just as Soul forced the doors open with his palms, and an equally familiar, boisterous voice shouted "_Hey, Liz, Patty, there they are_!" from behind them; and suddenly, with a burst of sunlight and a wisp of fresh air, the doors closed behind them, and they were free.

But they wouldn't stay that way if they didn't start running again. Soul blindly broke into a sprint, once more dragging Maka behind him as he bounded into Death City.

"Where are we going!?" Maka shrieked, tripping and staggering behind her weapon. "You're bringing us into the middle of the city! Black Star will find us in a second!"

"Well, where else do we have to go, the middle of the _desert_?" Soul retorted. They'd covered a decent amount of ground in such a short time, he figured, because one of the Shinigami-shaped fountains was starting to come into view. "We don't have that many options." The sound of the running water calmed his fried nerves a little, and he exhaled sharply, coming down from his adrenaline rush. "... And it's my fault," he added, feeling bitter. Suddenly aware of how harsh he was being, he slowed to a walk, putting an arm about Maka's shoulder. "I'm so sorry about all of this, Maka, really. I'm an idiot. It wasn't cool of me at all... But I need your help. Where can we go?"

"I don't know, Soul. I think our friends will know to look for us just about everywhere," she muttered, allowing her head to fall against his shoulder. Luckily for him, all they sprinting they'd done had wiped her anger away, at least for the time being; she was too tired to yell at him for now. "We're as good as caught," she mourned. Heaving a sigh, she tapped her weapon's side affectionately, sadness for the inevitable softening her touch. "Papa's going to kill you, you know."

Somehow, thoughts of Maka's father had completely evaded his mind since their little chase scene had began, and he stopped short, a look of horror dawning on his face. Maka stopped with him.

"What's wrong? Did you see someone?" She asked, gripping his upper arm a little too tightly. Soul cringed and shook his head.

"No," he said, running a hand through his hair, "it's cool. I was just thinking about all of the different ways your dad can dismember me."

Maka issued a dry chuckle.

"Don't worry, Soul, he won't dismember you," she said, releasing his arm and giving him a firm pat on the back. "He'll leave that to the Professor," she crooned, as if that was actually supposed to _console_ him. Soul's frown spread into a wild grimace.

"Yeah, thanks for that," he mumbled. "I feel _so _much better."

Maka laughed, reaching to grab his hand when she suddenly froze in place. Soul sensed her change in posture and automatically tensed as well, narrowing his eyes.

"What is it?" He asked. And Maka _smiled_ although they were surely facing certain death, grinning broadly at him with the slightest undertone of deviousness.

"I have an idea," she said. "The perfect hiding place - the one spot no one will ever think to look for us." She pointed in a direction Soul didn't quite recognize, tugging on his jacket. "_She _wasn't in school today."

"Maka, what are you..." Soul could almost hear the clicking noise in his brain as he realized what she was suggesting.

... _She_ wasn't in school today.

"N-No." Soul backed away from her, waving his hands defensively. "No, no, no, we are _not_ going there, there is no way--"

"Oh yes we are," she said, looking a bit sinister.

He turned around and tried to flee, but she caught him by his sleeve, and his life flashed before his eyes. This time, as they ran past buildings and people alike, Maka was the one dragging him.

* * *

Even the trees here were twisted.

Soul stared up at the grey, patched building, the corners of his mouth twisted downwards in a violent sneer. His eyes were wide with horror, and his fingers were twitching; he honestly _could not_ believe Maka had suggested this, and he was even more shocked that she'd actually gone through with it. She pulled him by his hand as he trailed behind her, dumbfounded, watching some unfortunate stitch-covered bird hop by his feet. It was probably some sort of mutant, he figured, the twisted side-project of a twisted man that he hoped to _every higher power_ wasn't home.

"Take a deep breath," Maka told him. She was getting some sort of sick pleasure out of seeing him writhe in mental anguish, he could tell. "We're going in."

As Soul considered saying a prayer for his soon-to-be-corpse, she raised her dainty little fist and knocked heavily on the concrete doorway.

The silence that followed was simply awful. Soul figured this was his punishment for being so thoughtlessly stupid, so utterly _dense, _and he didn't feel quite as bad for himself, even though everything looked rather grim and he probably wouldn't make it to his next birthday. Eventually, there was a faint stirring noise from behind the laboratory doors, and his heart leapt into his throat, pulsing at a rate that could make a heart attack-sufferer green with envy. Anyone had the potential to answer these daunting doors - and in the squirm-inducing silence, Soul decided that whoever let them into this ominous lab would determine whether God hated him, or loved him.

The doors opened, and a pair of button-eyed bunny slippers gazed up at them. The blonde in the bath robe stared at the duo with a cup of tea clenched within her fist, looking groggy, startled, ill and, above all, completely baffled by the exhausted teenagers before her.

"... Uh, hi," she mumbled, staring through her only exposed eye.

Soul couldn't manage anything but a relieved sigh, and Maka bowed, smiling innocently.

"Good afternoon, Miss Marie," she said politely. "How are you feeling?"


	4. Tea Party

AN: _FRIDAY!!_

* * *

Several minutes and a fresh pot of tea later, Soul found himself seated beside Maka on Stein's uncomfortably stiff couch with a delicate-looking cup in hand, watching Marie from across the table. He was trying desperately to distract himself from the temptation of giving his robe-clad teacher an 'appreciative' glance by instead examining the tea cup she'd given him, scowling at it to hide his pleasure. It was undeniably cute, a pale pink in color with floral green-and-blue designs about the rim - he shot Maka a sideways glance, expecting her to be acknowledging the cup as well, but for entirely different reasons - and he would've admitted to liking it if he wasn't such a cool guy. He did value his masculinity, or what was going to be left of it after Maka was done chewing him out.

Awaiting his punishment, he decided, was going to be worse than receiving it. At least, that's what he told himself.

"These cups are adorable," Maka said, snapping Soul out of his unfortunate reverie. She brought the cup to her lips and sipped, then exhaled, clearly appreciating the taste. "And the tea is delicious, too. Thank you."

"It's not a problem," Marie said, pausing to blow her nose into a crumpled-looking tissue. "I'm a little sick, as you can see, so you may not want to stay here for long." Her nose sounded pathetically stuffy. "What did you two need to talk about?"

Maka's tea party-induced delight faded off into an intense frown as Marie revived the former subject, and she shot Soul a glare that could've felled an elephant if looks could kill. Pretending not to see, Soul sipped from his own tea, swallowing in spite of the scalding sensation that burned the Christ out his throat every step of the way down. It was worth the pain, he thought to himself over and over, it was worth the pain not to make eye contact. Because eye contact, of course, meant _death_.

"Actually, Miss Marie, we have something to tell you," Maka said, placing her cup onto the table. Her eyes were boring holes into Soul's skull like a woodpecker mauled wood for grubs, and he felt incredibly naked. Sensing things were about to get ugly, he placed his cup beside Maka's, still pretending to take an avid interest in the collection of... _things_ that their Professor had lying around so he wouldn't have to meet her stare.

"Oh?" Marie said with blatantly forced enthusiasm, her sickly state sapping most of her usual energy. She gazed at them listlessly through her one eye. "What is it, then?" Soul was trying not to blame her for sounding so impatient. She probably couldn't wait to kick them out and take a long nap.

"Well, Miss Marie," Maka began, putting a hand over Soul's, "we're dating." There was a nearly imperceptible degree of _evil _in her tone, and Soul was completely convinced that Marie couldn't see how deep Maka's nails had sunk into his skin. It took everything in his power to keep from squirming, but he _would not_ give her the satisfaction, no matter how much he deserved this torment. Squirming just wasn't cool.

"Oh!" Marie replied, apparently rejuvenated somewhat by the news. "Oh, how cute! You two are just adorable, aren't you?"

_Here it comes_, Soul thought, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling. (How had Stein gotten stitches all the way up there?)

"I always knew you two would make the sweetest couple," Marie gushed. She blew her nose emphatically afterward, which took some - if not all - of the affection out of her compliment. "I always said to Stein, you know, that Maka and that Soul, they've got a bond between them most weapons and meisters lack. That's what I said, I swear, you can ask him!" She gave them a broad smile, and the combination of her grin, the glow in her cheeks, and the glittering of her golden hair in the artificial light made Soul want to put on sunglasses. He wondered absently how Stein could stand such brightness in his shades-of-grey life. "It was only a matter of time," she continued, sniffling like a proud mother, "and I think everybody's always known it, too." A beat. "How did your father take it?"

And _there_ was the question. Maka stiffened like she'd just gone through a belated rigor mortis, and Soul felt his hand actually start to _bleed_.

"W-Well," Maka stammered, fidgeting where she sat, "that's kind of the reason we came here, Miss Marie."

Marie's face fell like they'd kicked a puppy in front of her or something, and Soul felt rather guilty. It was her _eyes _- or, more specifically, _eye_ - that made him feel like they'd lodged a knife into her spinal cord.

"Oh," she said, her tone blank.

"You see, we came here so we could say we told at least _one _person we were in a relationship on our own terms," Maka elaborated, flushing pink as the tea cups that now sat abandoned. God, was she ever going to get angry for _real_, or was she going to torment him forever by holding the aspect over his head? She would snap eventually; she had to.

"_Oh_," Marie said with a bit more emotion, raising her eyebrows. She seemed to be following what Maka was talking about to some degree.

"We weren't going to tell anyone, but _Soul_ here had other plans," Maka said with saccharine affection, finally releasing his hand in favor of patting his knee. He instinctively crossed his legs - just in case.

"_Oh_." Marie was actually _glaring _at him now, and Soul secretly wallowed in how unfair it all was.

"We needed somewhere to hide, Miss Marie," Maka said, frowning. Her fingers tightened slightly on Soul's kneecap, and he cringed reflexively. "He decided to give me a little _kiss_ in the middle of class, and now everyone knows. Even the Professor saw."

Marie puffed her cheeks out in sympathy indignation, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Soul, I don't mean to offend, but are you stupid?" She asked, tilting her head innocently to the side as if she were asking him for the weather forecast of next week. Her words were like lemon juice and salt on the fresh wound of his most recent error.

"That's what I said!" Maka agreed with enthusiasm. Soul was suddenly aware of the imbalanced female-to-male ratio, and surprisingly, he was actually _hoping_ to see Stein come strolling into the house - or even (dare he say it, dare he _think_ it?) Maka's stupid flailing pervert of a father. Anything to bump up the testosterone level! They were going to start watching soap operas and reading cheesy romance novels if he didn't do something.

"I guess I am pretty stupid," he mumbled guiltily, speaking for the first time since he'd entered the room. "It's not like I don't feel really bad about this, because I do. Rubbing my nose in it just ain't cool."

Golden and green eyes locked onto him with a combination of disdain and sympathy, staring like hungry dogs waiting for dinner. The sympathy, for the most part, came from Marie; her face was open and sincere, and she was pouting a little, nervously pushing her hair behind her ears. On the other hand, Soul felt withheld rage radiating from Maka as if she was a heating system, and the air was tenser than it should have been while she glared at him unblinkingly.

"Sorry," Marie apologized after realizing that Soul didn't plan on saying anything else, looking as guilty as he felt. "I guess I am being pretty mean to you." Her chipper Marie smile returned in a second's time. "I'm guessing you need some advice from an unrelated party, hm? Well, don't worry, your secret's safe with Miss Marie!" She winked, and the effect was completely lost on her guests - there was no difference between her winking and her blinking due to her eye patch. Soul almost wanted to laugh at her. "Miss Marie will try her hardest to help you, yes she will!"

"Well, we _really_ appreciate it," Maka said, releasing an airy breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. There was one crisis avoided, at least. "Everyone is looking for us now... Liz told us we'd have some explaining to do. Can we, you know... Hide here for a while?"

"Of course, of course!" Marie said, rising unsteadily to her feet and leaving a pile of tissues on the couch. "Don't blame me if you catch my cold, though. Here, your tea's gone cold, let me pour you some fresh cups..."

Maka shook her head, grinning with malaise and attempting to object. She wasn't here to be catered to, Soul knew that.

"No, it's fine, really," she insisted, "we can get it ourse--"

"Nonsense!" Marie interrupted, whisking their cups up off of the table and nearly falling over in the process. "Oh dear, oh dear, my head's all stuffy. Call an ambulance if I pass out, please!" Soul nodded dumbly; he would've found it funny if she weren't serious.

Of course, boys would be boys, and now Soul had no distractions - especially since he was still trying to dodge Maka's eyes, lest he trigger the anger she was holding back. He found himself watching Marie as she left, pondering exactly _how _much of her legs were exposed by her bath robe from the front, exactly _how _tightly she'd tied the rope about her waist and how much pressure would cause it to fall away, exactly _what _she looked like without its cover, and his thoughts were broken when he felt Maka dig the toe of her shoes sharply into his shin. This time he couldn't bite back a yowl of pain.

"Is something wrong?" Marie asked, peering from around the corner of something that _could _be a kitchen - Soul wasn't sure, seeing as this was Stein's house, and for all he knew, there was a _dead thing _in there right next to the tea pot.

"Uh, leg cramp," Soul fibbed lamely, massaging his wounded leg within his hands.

"Yes, _leg cramp_," Maka snarled through clenched teeth. Soul mouthed an apology to her, the less cool part of him begging for her mercy.

Marie had begun to retreat into the maybe-kitchen once more when there was a knock on the door. Everyone seemed to hold their breath.

"... It's our friends," Maka said right away, whispering urgently. "They probably thought to look here, after all! I _knew _we should have told them..."

Marie came shuffling rapidly towards the door, giggling excitedly. The ears on her slippers bounced with her every motion.

"I won't let them get you, guys, don't worry!" She said boldly, pointing towards the table with a finger. "Quick, hide under there! Ooh, I feel like I'm housing _refugees _or something..."

"It's really not that big a deal," Soul muttered, only to be pulled under the table by Maka, who hadn't wasted a moment in hiding.

The door opened, someone entered the house, and Soul heard Maka stop breathing.

The sound of footsteps, heavy and dark, grew less distant as the anonymous arrival walked in. Beside the echo of shoes hitting the floor, the building had gone utterly silent, and Soul thought for a moment that he could hear Maka's heart pounding in her chest. She grabbed onto his hand and closed her eyes, dreading the discovery of this person's identity.

A hulking form bent over them, blocking the light cast by the fluorescents. Soul peeked up through his hair and grimaced as Stein's scarred face filled his vision, eyeglasses flashing.

"Marie... What are Maka and Soul doing under my coffee table?"


	5. Hope and Hope Dashed

AN: I _wrecked _my knee. Like, I slipped on some water in my bathroom and hit my knee on the cabinet so hard that the entire house heard it.

Ow.

So, yeah, I've been distracted. :D

* * *

Begging just ain't cool. Soul felt a smug sense of superiority as he watched Maka cling to their professor's leg, babbling incoherently, wailing and looking close to tears as she begged him to _please don't tell my Papa, please, Professor, don't tell my Papa, he's going to kill Soul, you have to help us_! He felt a little embarrassed for her, actually, pitying her and the state she was in as she leaned against the stitched fabric and pleaded. His feelings shifted once he realized that, at some point, he'd grabbed onto Stein's pants, too, and he was begging with just as much fervor as that of his meister, pleading for their professor to _please don't say anything, I don't stand a chance fighting off a Death Scythe, c'mon, Professor, be cool_! Some (smarter) part of his subconscious had realized that Spirit Albarn wouldn't hesitate to pull out his intestines and hang them like garlands, perhaps making a nice rug from the hide once he was done, and Professor Stein was the one link between a long, wonderful, fulfilling life and a bloody, slow, twisted, painful death. There was such a _difference _between hearing gossip from a student and hearing gossip from someone like Stein.

Marie paced over to them, the fluffy bunnies on her feet scraping against the floor. Soul could hear her trying not to laugh, her frenzied giggles smothered beneath her palm as she leaned over them, thoroughly enjoying the spectacle. Soul felt the urge to kick her in the face through the haze of his desperation, because this was _not funny_, not in the least. How could she be laughing in the face of their imminent doom? Spirit Albarn was going to put him six feet under if Franken Stein didn't get to him first...

"Would you two mind shutting up and getting off of me?" Stein requested, his tired eyes boring down onto the tops of their heads. The eyeglasses that were perched precariously on the bridge of his nose glinted dangerously, and Soul couldn't help but wonder if the lenses had minds of their own (or perhaps they shared a brain with their master), because there wasn't a single change in the lighting to warrant such a phenomenon. "I'm not going to tell him, so stop begging."

Maka leapt off of his leg as if spring-loaded and sat back in awe, regarding Stein like he'd sprouted a richly-hued flower from the top of his head and was now emphatically fertilizing his scalp with pure manure.

"_Seriously_?" She nearly whispered, her jaw hanging open. Soul took advantage of the silence that followed as any cool guy would, sheepishly collecting the shrapnel from his shattered dignity as he released his vice-like grip on Stein and rose swiftly to his feet. He glared at Marie as she offered him a sweet, well-meaning grin that somehow really pissed him off, clicking his tongue unhappily in her general direction. He wasn't sure why her delight irritated him so badly, but it did, and there was nothing he could do to change it. Perhaps he was just in a bad mood now, and really, could anyone blame him?

"Seriously," Stein confirmed in his typical callous tone, his gaze flicking down to stare at the other scythe meister unwaveringly as he cranked the bolt embedded within his skull. "The personal lives of my students have little to do with my classes." Soul saw Marie offer Stein a sideways smile, beaming with unbridled pride at the mercy he'd shown to his defenseless students. He figured it was justified; with Stein, a little bit of compassion went a long way. "So long as you two never interrupt my class again, I don't think I have any reason to ruin your lives," he added, pointedly shooting the scythe with a bruised ego a lens-glinting glare. Soul felt his heart momentarily freeze within a block of foreboding ice, and a massive shudder passed over him like a cloud, his skin crawling. Maka was still beside him, gaping skywards from the floor, dumb from shock.

"You're gonna catch flies, dummy," Soul told her once he noticed her frog-like expression, putting his fingers underneath her chin and easing her mouth shut. That seemed to wake her up a little, because she blinked a few times, as if emerging from a deep trance.

"You're _serious _about this?" Maka said cautiously to Stein once she had her wits about her, grabbing onto Soul's hand. Soul hoisted her up wordlessly. "You're seriously just going to _let us go_? No strings attached? You're not going to make us your new experiments? You're not going to investigate all of the wonderful ways you can make our lives miserable?"

"_Don't give him any ideas_," Soul growled into her ear, prodding her side with a finger. She wriggled reflexively and gave him a furious glare with an obvious meaning: Shut up, I'm still mad at you.

Soul shut up.

"You two have the right to tell him on your own terms," Stein said idly in a tone that suggested his words had more than one meaning, examining his bird blood-encrusted fingernails. He was the very picture of false innocence. "I don't see any reason to intrude."

Maka's shoulders fell, and she slumped against Soul abruptly, groaning. Soul supported her weight with a sour look on his face.

"Looks like you've finally caught on," Stein said, flashing them a grin that was - for once - not completely jagged and insane. "The worst punishment you could possibly get for your stupid decision is already happening." He ignored the frown Marie was trying to scathe him with, turning away from her so he could pretend that he failed to see her. (Soul privately found it amusing that his Professor used the same eye-contact-avoiding tactics as he did.) "You have to think of a way to tell your father what's going on before someone else gets there first," he continued, strolling past the limp meister and desperate weapon and heading for the kitchen with his hands in his stitched-on pockets. Soul could tell he was enjoying every millisecond of their pain. "Good luck," he bid portentously from the doorway; then he vanished within the room, his lab coat trailing behind him like a sewn specter. Soul secretly hoped that he would choke on whatever he was about to eat.

Maka wailed like she'd just realized she had sustained a mortal wound, burying her face in Soul's jacket. "Papa's gonna kill you," she lamented gravely, pulling on Soul's sleeves with such force that he nearly lost his balance. Déjà vu. "He's gonna eat you alive. This is all your fault!"

"It could be worse," Soul offered, choosing to ignore her previous comment. He was still trying to cling to the rapidly failing light at the end of the everlasting tunnel. "I mean, we're safe for the moment, right?" She looked up at him, and he offered her a toothy grin, charging on with courageousness that he didn't really have. "If the Professor told had told your dumb dad, I'd already be dead, right? It was pretty cool of him to give me a few last words." A smile blossomed on her face, and he continued, feeling confident. "Naturally, it's only a matter of time before he finds out - either we tell him or someone else does - and he'll strike me dead where I stand, but..."

The smile withered into a scowl, and Soul flinched. Bad move, wrong thing to say - rewind, tape over it, keep going.

"Uh, what I meant to say," he corrected, his over-confident grin wavering, "is that the Professor is being nice to us, and Miss Marie is helping out, too."

Marie waved at them from a few feet away, grinning at them from beneath a tissue, and Maka blinked. Apparently, she'd forgotten Marie was still in the room.

"We're not alone in this, Maka," he said, sure he was on the _real_ right track now. He wasn't too good at the whole comforting thing - it wasn't cool enough for him - so he had to go with gut feeling. "We've got plenty of people on our side, right?" Maka's expression was fairly unreadable now, which didn't help at all, so he had to swallow in order to buy himself time - what else could he say? "I'm sure you're just overreacting, too," he added, muddling through the dirty look she shot him. "Our friends probably don't even care that much. They've always been pretty cool to us, right?"

"Not really," she responded. Soul felt like bashing his forehead against a wall.

"Um, if I can interrupt," Marie piped, her tissue twisted up in her hands. "I think you two should..." She paused to sneeze, then continued, sniffling. "... Go home and rest for a little. You've clearly had a long day."

"She's right," Maka agreed, peeking around Soul and looked at Marie. "If we sleep on it, maybe we'll think of something. We've got to lock the door, though." She sighed. "If anyone shows up at our apartment we won't have anything to tell them."

"Well, then! Come on, come on, before Stein changes his mind," Marie demanded, sweeping up behind them. Her hands found Soul's back, and he couldn't help but think about all the _germs _she must be covered in. "You've got to think something up quick. Hurry home before people see you, alright? I'd hate to have your Papa find you two after all of this fuss."

"Thank you so much, Miss Marie," Maka enthused as she herded them out the door. The meister's good spirits were stirred back to life, and Soul had his ailing teacher to thank for that much. "And tell the Professor thank you, too! As many times as he'll hear it, _thank you_!"

Marie grinned at them and made a shooing gesture with one hand, gently shutting the door behind them with the back of her palm.

"Quickly now," she reminded them, beaming. "And come back tomorrow if you still don't know what to do!"

* * *

Maka was still going on and on even as Soul struggled with the keys to their apartment.

"I don't know where the Professor gets off thinking that he has the right to decide on our punishment," she rambled, pacing up and down the hallway and running her hands through her hair. Her ponytails were starting to loosen from stress, and stray hair fluffed about her like a lion's mane.

"Shut up. I'm trying to concentrate," Soul growled under his breath. God dammit, which key was it again?

"I mean, it's _our _life. Our _personal_ life. It has nothing to do with his class, he even said so himself. Even if this is karma biting back, he doesn't have to rub it in like that. I mean, seriously, he's not going to be the first person letting us know how stupid we were, and he knows that. What, did he figure he'd kick it off to a _grand start_ or something? He wanted to _pulverize_ us so we'd be easier for our friends to swallow, _is that it_?" Her voice was beginning to rise to a frenzied shriek.

Soul grunted and planted a hard kick on the door. That gesture of finality caused it to swing open slowly, the wrong key still jammed forcefully into the keyhole.

"About time," he grumbled, stepping into the doorway only to freeze where he stood. Beside him, Maka's breath caught with a sharp gasp.

"We were wondering when you'd show up," Liz said, looking up from a bowl of instant noodles she'd taken from their cabinet. Patty giggled and banged her fists against the empty seats beside her on the couch, grinning at them like a wildcat to its cornered prey. Horrified, Soul glanced at Maka through wide eyes, unable to speak. A silent, yet understood command to run passed between them as they made eye contact, and he tensed in response, mentally preparing for their escape. They would go on three...

_1..._

_2..._

"Oh no you don't, ya bastards," Black Star shouted from behind them, his hands coming down to grip their shoulders. Maka shrieked her surprise and clapped her hands over her mouth to prevent any further noises of despair, though she couldn't help but issue a whimper when she saw exactly how large their audience was. Soul glanced around their apartment, which was, apparently, overrun by the enemy - Liz and Patty were on the couch, Black Star was holding him and Maka hostage from behind, Kid sat on a single seat facing the doorway with a certain traitorous cat sipping the broth from the bowl on his lap, and Tsubaki sat guiltily with her back to them, wringing her hands.

"Have a seat," Liz said with sarcastic politeness as Black Star pushed them into the room fully.

The door slammed shut behind them.


	6. And Again

AN: Life is punching me in the effing face right now.

I was going to make this longer, but I didn't want to exhaust all of my ideas in one chapter. Also, Kid seems like a cat person to me.

* * *

No matter how horrible their situation got, Soul was determined to keep it cool. In the face of death, he was cool, and in a simple, everyday situation, he was cool. Cool was his method of operation: He ate cool, he breathed cool, he thrived on cool, he _lived _cool. Without his coolness, he had nothing to his name, no reason to get up in the morning or go to bed at night. Granted, that was a massive exaggeration, but the high value in which he held his reputation was obvious to everyone that knew him; to be Soul was to be cool. Unfortunately, the level of respect he had for himself and his partner just made the entire situation worse as the words nobody is ever willing to hear out tore unbidden and awkward from his lips.

"Uh, I can explain," he offered feebly, defensively showing their audience his palms, as if they expected him to be armed. Beside him, Maka slapped her forehead and uttered a grouchy "yeesh."

"Of course you can," Liz said, and Patty bared her teeth in a terrifying grin of triumph. "And, believe me, we want to hear all of it. _Every last detail_."

Soul felt the situation slip out of his grasp a little bit more with every failed attempt he made.

"It's a long story," he offered feebly, his heart beating faster in desperation. He slid his hands into his pockets and shrugged his shoulders bleakly, as if the gesture of carelessness would free him of his burdens. "It's kind of lame, too. Not cool at all."

Maka was putting as much distance between Soul and herself as Black Star would allow with a peculiar look of helplessness on her face. Maybe she was wondering if staying apart _now _could undo all of the mistakes they'd made; maybe she thought that distance would heal their damaged social lives, make their friends change their minds. Although it was an action that seemed logical enough given their current situation, Soul's feelings - and ego - sustained massive damage, and he almost gave up on the whole shebang right then and there. But that wasn't cool, was it?

"It would, uh...Probably bore you guys, I mean," he said, shooting a glance over his shoulder. The hallway beckoned to him and appealed to his thirst for freedom like a glorious oasis in the midst of an ocean of sand, singing songs of liberation and heaven into his ear. Black Star's fingers tightened on his shoulder instantly - he was probably used to figuring out when his prey was considering the ever-present option of trying to run away - and the enticing scent of effortless escape dissipated, grinding Soul's hope into the floorboards under the foot of disappointment.

"I think you'll keep us entertained," Liz said, smirking like the cat to the rat. Patty slammed her fists down on the couch again, this time to a more erratic beat, and the springs within squeaked and groaned in protest. Her invitations tended to lack the 'inviting' part. "You guys probably have a pretty good story to tell," Liz continued over the ruckus of her sister, clenching her thighs awkwardly together to keep her bowl of noodles from falling in the tremors caused by the ceaseless cushion-beating. "Feel free to embellish it as much as you want, if you think you'll bore us."

Frustrated and defeated, Soul rolled his shoulder violently. Black Star released him with a grin that reminded him of that damn pink cat from Alice in Wonderland, cackling like this was a game to him - and it probably was, the careless bastard. _That whole thing about thinking you know a guy?_ Soul thought within the privacy of his mind, giving Black Star an angry look to communicate his feelings._ Yeah, it's true; you think you know a guy and then you gotta get someone to take the knife out of your spine. Not cool._ He wanted so badly to voice his thoughts in detail, but he refrained from it, instead gritting his teeth to keep down the fury.

"_Judas_," he snapped to the assassin as he made his way over to the couch and sat heavily, summarizing his bitter contemplations in a single word. Black Star didn't seem to get it, because his laughter paused and a puzzled look glazed over the expression of sweet victory as he tried to make sense of the statement.

Soul leaned back into the cushions and pretended not to be miserable for the sake of his image, but he couldn't help but notice the way Maka paused beside Tsubaki as she followed him to the seats beside Patty. She fixed the demon blade with a heart-rending look of betrayal, a baby deer regarding the ruthless hunter with its final breaths, with her bottom lip stuck out in a doleful and hurt pout. Tsubaki looked towards her cornered ally and dropped her eyes down to her shoes the moment they sustained a second of eye contact, guilt written across every square inch of her face as she began to squirm where she sat. It was obvious to Soul that she wanted to be here about as badly as they did, and he found himself hoping that Maka wouldn't stubbornly hold this whole ordeal over Tsubaki's head as she planned to do with him. Again, he wouldn't put it past her.

"So, when did you two start this masquerade?" Liz asked the moment Maka's butt touched the cushions, finally going in for the kill. Patty leaned over and began deftly stealing food from her sister's bowl, shoveling down the sustenance without pausing to breathe.

"A few weeks," Maka replied, surprisingly willing to cooperate. It wasn't if they had a choice, but Soul would have expected a bit of a fight from her; flying claws and gnashing teeth at the very least.

"Interesting," Liz replied, laying her fingers across her chin in thought and stroking an invisible beard. Patty laughed at her sister's ridiculous impersonation between gulps of noodles, consequently spraying broth and bits of her lunch all over their beloved furniture.

Disgusted by the less-than-desirable eating habits of the giddy gun, Soul averted his eyes, instead watching Tsubaki flinch as Black Star plunked himself down on her lap without warning - certainly the boy was heavier than he looked, being comprised of nothing but muscle and his infinitely large ego. He made a sour face at the assassin, who grinned cheekily back at him. Feeling quite ruffled, the scythe glanced over at Kid and saw that, unsurprisingly, he wasn't paying attention at all; instead he was scratching Blair under the chin with a serene smirk.

"Blair loves the little Shinigami," the cat purred, rubbing her head against his knuckles and nudging the now empty bowl off of his legs so that she could have more room to sit. He chuckled and stroked her ears, smoothing out the fur so that it all went in the same direction.

Gee, at least _some_ people were enjoying themselves. It brought Soul's blood to a boil.

"We didn't want to get you guys involved," Maka added, glaring at a stray noodle that had somehow landed on the floor at her feet. "We figured... Well, we figured you'd do something like this."

"Something like _what_?" Liz asked, quickly tiring of her sister invading her personal space in order to steal her lunch and surrendering the meal entirely. Patty dipped her face into the bowl like a pig at the trough the moment it was safely balanced within her palms, causing the surrounding people to flinch in disgust for a beat. "We're only trying to help, you know," the eldest of the guns continued, lunging in order to wipe Patty's face off with a napkin once the opportunity arose. "You haven't even given us a chance yet!"

"... _Help_?" Maka parroted, more out of outright disbelief than cold-hearted skepticism. "How are you guys helping?"

"We've helped in more ways than you realize," Tsubaki said quietly, offering Maka a timid smile. "After you left the classroom we--"

"We knew you guys were worried about Maka's papa," Liz interrupted, talking over Tsubaki unabashedly, "so we decided to ask the class not to tell anyone until you guys figured things out. Just a favor for our buddies, it's no biggie."

Soul felt his jaw drop, and Maka mirrored his expression instantly. The pair gaped at their fellow students in stunned silence. The quiet was so immense and heavy that Soul could hear someone battling with a door and swearing all the way down the hall.

And then Patty belched, shattering the buzz of noiselessness.

"You can thank us later," Liz said in a sing-song tone once the room had revived, clearly proud of herself. She leaned back against the couch with her arms folded behind her head, a cocky grin spread across her face. Tsubaki smiled at them, sheepish, as Patty laughed hoarsely and dropped her bowl on the floor with a distracting clatter, freeing her hands for childish clapping. Blair leapt from Kid's lap to eat the noodle that had previously landed by Maka's feet, and Kid rose to place his bowl and the bowl shared by his weapons in the sink, perturbed by the mess they had left and unfazed by the other goings-on entirely. Black Star beamed at Soul from Tsubaki's lap, stretching a leg out to scratch Blair's back with the bottom of his foot.

Life was still going on while Soul and Maka felt everything come to a screeching halt - only this time they were reveling in a moment of sheer glory.

Soul's mind was floating in the clouds of momentary peace, his spirit soaring above all the problems of teenage life as he belatedly realized that the friends they hadn't trusted, the friends they had run from, had _saved them_. They were _safe_; so long as the other kids in their class kept their stupid traps shut - which they probably would, seeing as the threat of Black Star loomed dangerously overhead - they were _safe_. No one would tell Maka's perverted old man. No one would spread rumors. For the time being, they had a blanket of protection.

It was _glorious_.

And then he realized that Liz was laughing.

"Of course, you two owe us now," Liz said with a wicked grin. "If you don't want us to tell her dad ourselves, that is."

Patty cackled, Tsubaki frowned, Black Star leaned towards them and sneered, Kid peeked out at them from the kitchen with his eyebrows raised, and the wonderful spotlight that had bathed Soul in hope shut off with a click.

Again.


End file.
